


Emotional Regulation

by putconspiraciesinit



Category: 19th Century CE RPF, Historical RPF, Political RPF - US 19th c.
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/M, Human Disaster Aaron Burr, Psychological Trauma, Sad, Shooting Guns, Target Practice, Thomas Jefferson Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 04:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20576441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putconspiraciesinit/pseuds/putconspiraciesinit
Summary: You've heard of Sad Burr Hours, now get ready for...Sad Theo HoursThe news of her father's meeting with Thomas Jefferson on January 26 shocks and enrages Theo enough to provoke her first into a one-sided shooting match with a tree, and then into a rare moment of genuine vulnerability and willingness to discuss her personal feelings. Joseph is a bit in over his head, but does his best to be a good listener.





	Emotional Regulation

The Alston household received a great deal of letters, many of which were from Aaron Burr, whom could not be shut up even by a distance of over seven-hundred miles. Most of these letters were simple ramblings about the everyday goings-on of Burr’s life. The parties he went to, the PR work he did, that sort of thing. These letters were most welcome.

Other letters were...less mundane.

Burr avoided talking about his work as much as he could. Campaign work was fine, because he did that mostly on his own, but _ work _ work--being vice-president of America work--was more often than not taboo. He never spoke of it out loud, when he visited. Everybody knew exactly why, but nobody _ said _ it. Best to keep conversations pleasant.

Sometimes, however, even he couldn’t seem to bear to keep it to himself. A letter arrived in February 1804 that was nothing short of utterly depressing.

“_ To conclude, you must beware of the federal government should you ever encounter them, as they are more corrupt than you could know. A great deal of awful things have happened, are happening, and will happen if public support for Mr. Jefferson remains so widespread. I apologize and hope to write to you soon with less sad news. Sincerely, A.B. _,” Joseph read. “So...well, that...that isn’t good.”

“That _ snake _!” cried Theo. “I swear to God, if it weren’t against the law, I’d murder him.”

***

The sound of gunshots from the yard still startled Joseph a bit, though it did not quite send him into a near panic like it had the first time; most likely, Theo was simply outside shooting at trees. Still, as there was a fraction of a percent of a chance that it was not Theo and something was going on, he went outside anyway.

Sure enough, Theo was there, shooting up a tree.

“I am imagining,” she said, evidently noticing her husband’s presence, “that this tree is Mr. Jefferson. Seeing as I can’t very well go and shoot the man himself, as that would land me in prison, which should only make poor Papa even _ more _ miserable.”

“I suppose I don’t blame you. I suspected Jefferson wasn’t the benevolent figure he made himself out to be, but I also figured Mr. Burr knew him well enough to judge his character more...accurately.”

Theo said nothing, pausing to concentrate on reloading her pistol, then firing again at the poor tree.

“My father...is not the _ best _ judge of character,” she muttered.

“Is that so?”

“No, he’s…” another pause, reload, fire. “He’s terrible at it. He’s so _ nice _ , Joseph, so _ polite _ and _ soft _ and he always presumes that everybody has good intentions, and that _ obvious _ malice is all some sort of miscommunication. I don’t think he ever saw it coming, what happened at that meeting. He _ never _ sees it coming.”

Theo was now staring ahead with an intense sort of expression that looked very much as though she was expending quite a bit of effort not to look on the verge of tears.

In all the time Joseph had known Theo, he had never once seen her cry. Not even close. It didn’t count when she had given birth to their son; such physical pain surely _ forced _ such a reaction from a woman experiencing it, it wasn’t an emotional reaction. Theo had never cried from any psychological stimulus, and she was evidently trying very hard not to break this streak. She reloaded her pistol again and shot a hole in a leaf.

“Theo...you’ve been holding your breath for a considerable amount of time, you know,” he murmured.

“I love my father more than anything, you know,” she said matter-of-factly. “He’s very intelligent.”

“That he is. What he pulled off in 1800 is beyond the capabilities of even the greatest men. But I sense you were going to follow that statement with another, more critical one.”

A bird landed on the target tree. Reload, fire. The bird flew off in quite a panic.

“Do you think, perhaps, we should go back inside?”

“I suppose...I shouldn’t use up all of my ammunition firing on this tree. Yes, let us go back inside. But I think I shall continue to talk when we do, as these topics do not come easily to me, and therefore if I allow this opportunity to pass, you may have to wait another several years to hear this monologue.”

Neither Joseph nor Theo said a word until they were in their bedroom, sitting on the bed. Theo took a deep breath.

“Well,” she began, “do you know how people like Mr. Jefferson are able to get away with treating others the way they do?”

“I assumed it had something to do with being wealthy.”

“It does, but it’s also the people they target,” explained Theo. “They go after people like Papa. Generous, _ soft _ types, who don’t like conflict. Won’t defend themselves. People who bend over backwards to please people who don’t care about them at all. I was like that, once.”

“Somehow, I simply cannot imagine you any less _ tough _ than you are now!” chuckled Joseph.

“I try not to be. But it was different, once. This whole ordeal began when I was only a child, and I didn’t understand back then; Papa tried to impart his optimism to me. He always told me it would get better, and that I should not worry about Hamilton and Jefferson and the Democratic-Republicans and focus on my studies instead. But my whole life, I’ve had to watch him let those very men walk all over him.”

Theo’s hands gripped the bedsheets until they turned white.

“They tried to use me against him. First, they treated me as a poor, pitiable child, unfortunately born to an evil man. Tried to garner sympathy with my name. As I grew older, they judged me as they did him. ‘Aaron Burr’s daughter is a shrew.’ ‘Aaron Burr’s daughter thinks herself a man.’”

“That...isn’t...a particularly nice thing to do to a child.”

“It isn’t. And I wanted to please them, at first. Hold them off by proving them wrong and being good. But for years, my father held his enemies off by that same strategy, and look where that’s gotten him! He tries to hide it from me, most of the time. How exhausted he is, and how much this whole debacle hurts him. But I know. And I learn from his mistakes as much as I learn from his advice. Nobody,” she said, “will _ ever _ take advantage of me the way they’ve taken advantage of him. If I have to become a scandalous mannish shrew to keep the political vultures off my damned back, then so be it.”

The tears started flowing entirely against Theo’s will, and she continued to fight them even as her emotional regulation failed her.

Figuring that pointing out this abnormally strong reaction would only upset Theo further, Joseph simply wrapped his arms around her.

“Theo, I...I’m terribly sorry. I’ve never met Mr. Jefferson nor Mr. Hamilton, but that they would dare to use a child to attack her own father...how utterly despicable!”

“It is despicable. I can never resent Papa for how he handled it, good Heaven forbid--but I shall never cease to resent how readily those men exploited his gentleness as a weakness.”

“I suppose, in the end, all we can do is hope men like them will be phased out of politics. That the public will see reason and stop voting for famous men purely because they are famous, and instead examine their morals.”

“That they had _ better _ do,” said Theo. “Otherwise, nothing will ever change, and there shall be thousands more proverbial Burrs, thousands more families strained like this. Really, I’ve half a mind to simply make an example of Jefferson and Hamilton, and just kill them myself.”

“Well, much as they may very well deserve it, I think that should cause a few additional problems,” chuckled Joseph.

“Oh, well that is the only reason I haven’t simply _ done _ it already.”

Theo sniffled, managing to get the tears under control but still in a decidedly non-stoic state. She rested her head on Joseph’s chest, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“At least...at least I’ve someone I can talk to about this sort of thing, now,” she said. “I try not to bring up such _ heavy _ topics with casual acquaintances. Far too depressing. And Papa...his own issues are draining him enough, without my having to dump all of mine on him as well. Sincerity is not my strong suit, but...I really do appreciate you listening to all this.”

“Think nothing of it, please. I love you.”

For several seconds, nothing else was said.

Finally, Theo spoke;

“...I love you too, Joseph.”

\---

there is Art now

i know glocks did not exist in 1804 HOWEVER i have tried to draw historically accurate guns and It Never Goes Well so here theo has a glock because She Just Does

**Author's Note:**

> This was written partially because like, everything on here involving Joseph Alston has him be the Bad Guy in a Theo/Philip Hamilton setup, like the stupid jerk ex or something, and partially because every other depiction of Theo is Utterly Wrong And Inaccurate and she deserves better  
Theo had a GOOD relationship with her father and a GOOD relationship with her husband and this is the hill I will die on


End file.
